Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace

I wish I could change some of the things about how I've acted in the last couple of years. I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. You know, i told xxxx that if he loved his fiance then i would learn to be okay with that, because i wanted him to be happy. But really i just wanted us to be happy, like me and him, then when he did marry her, I felt terrible, my heart is breaking right now. And i come in here, and i sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience and grace and strength to just let him be happy. And mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. Thats the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks.

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