Battles of Life

 

 

I have won countless battles 

But 

somehow I have managed to lose the war ...

Life as a series of voids

 

There's one to way to look at my life as really exemplary,
in the sense that I've been successful professionally and creatively.

Then there's another way to look at it. It's quiet sad ...
A lot of the work is an attempt to fill some kind of sadness  ...
or something that I didn't have in my life that i wish i had ...
filling a void.

I don't know that a father dying when you're that age ends up ever getting filled.
Are we doing a lot of this because we had this void in our life that we're trying to make up for?

We build a career. There's always this unconscious thought of, like, who is gonna come into your life? So is building a career a way to get our father back into our lives ... that could part of it

Isn't our life one attempt to fill a void after another? I don't know if I'm succeeding or not, but I'm trying hard.

Who knows where this stuff originates and where it ends ... I don't know ...

There's a lifetime to work out here.

Then What Is?

Burying yourself in work isnt always the best way of dealing with loosing someone. Running away isnt always the best either. Then what is?