It's easier to be alone ...

 There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.

It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. 

It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, 
I might not make it. 

It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? 

What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? 

Can you even survive that kind of pain? 

Losing love is like organ damage. 

It's like dying. 

The only difference is death ends. 

This? It could go on forever.

Walk Away ...

I watch you walk away from me

And the tears start to fall

I ask myself a million times

How did we lose it all???

For the first time I had no words

that to you I could say

I cling to old memories

And I watch you walk away

I just don't want to let you go

But inside I know I must

My heart's whimpering with pain

But it's my mind I trust

There's confusion around me

There's numbness in my heart

But looking at you walk away

My world just fell apart

If only I could handle it

And bear to just say

I'd use my breath and say the words

Don't Walk Away !

Messed Up !!!

Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.