Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace

I wish I could change some of the things about how I've acted in the last couple of years. I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. You know, i told xxxx that if he loved his fiance then i would learn to be okay with that, because i wanted him to be happy. But really i just wanted us to be happy, like me and him, then when he did marry her, I felt terrible, my heart is breaking right now. And i come in here, and i sit in silence and hear the echoes of who we used to be. And so I wish for patience and grace and strength to just let him be happy. And mostly I pray for the strength to not make his life worse because of what I want. Thats the toughest part, letting go, you know? That's the part of grace that really sucks.

Picture

You ever look a picture of yourself, and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many strangers have pictures of you. How many moments of other people's life have we been in. Were we a part of someone's life when their dream came true or were we there when their dream died? Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there, or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone elses life, and not even know it.

Memories

I feel as if I'm loosing the people around me, the most closest friends. They seem to have forgotten what we did and have been through together. It can be the most valueless thing. I take comfort in those things when my world is dark and grey. In a way I feel as I'm losing myself in other peoples memories, but they say that as long as you remember its all that matters. I'm just wondering will that be enough...